So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
