She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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