had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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