She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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