weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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