pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
