You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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