so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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