nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
His nipple licking is glorious
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
