is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
How naked do you want me to be?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
