That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
