I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
