dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
