I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
