yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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