You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize