I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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