Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
