My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
3 2 1 whiskey
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize