Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
