i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
