so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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