I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize