Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
