and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
