do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
