sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
