Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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