OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Randomize
