I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
