i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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