Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
