Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize