Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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