girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
