He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
