i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
