6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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