I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
