From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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