Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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