I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
