Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Sponge bath it is.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize