I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
