I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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