they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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