so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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