if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
