The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize