im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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