KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
