Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize