just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
