Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
