Pants 0. Shit 1.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
