I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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