I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
