So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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