my mouth tastes like poor choices
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
