I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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