her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
