Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Randomize
