So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
