I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
