with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
