Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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