you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Randomize
