i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
