Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
