Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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