the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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